and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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