dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
The best revenge is premature balding
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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