jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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