I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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