puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
