i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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