is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
