And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
