yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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