Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
