He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
