I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
