So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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