trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
