come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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