is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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