Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
