i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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