My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
vagina is talking i cant
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
