Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
