My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
