After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
