i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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