Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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