I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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