I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I am spending my child support on dildos
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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