You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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