I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
