Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
