chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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