Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
