I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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