i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
