I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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