im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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