I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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