I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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