belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
