i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
