I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
