Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
