guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
