ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
