During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Just pee around me
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize