I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize