K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
