I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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