Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
