I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
