Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
