Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
