yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Dicks are not precious.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
