and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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