Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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