I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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