I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
