so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
either way he was missing a nipple.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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