nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
