If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize