You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
