You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
