Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
