I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
