After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize