im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
