Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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