The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
